Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
