so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
