Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
