I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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