Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
