Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
