Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
