I seem to have left my pride at pride
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You made out with two different species that night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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