Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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