Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My balls are so social today.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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