I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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