I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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