Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
