i jhust puked up my retainher.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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