I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
