Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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