Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
