What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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