im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
