i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
sex in a hospital.. check
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
