what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
