I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
