Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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