ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
