dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
