If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
