so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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