So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
