i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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