gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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