So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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