so explain again why im purple
no
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
