I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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