Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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