you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
