my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
