i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
