i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
