omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
