is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
