you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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