so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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