Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
