"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
