That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
