It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
