never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
