i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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