i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
