GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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