I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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