actually, I'm a sock model
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
