Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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