I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
