hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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