So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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